When disordered thinking is part of your family

Originally posted to my Facebook July 9, 2026

When disordered thinking is part of your family (and family history), it is (or becomes) your normal. You might begin to assume that is the way it is in all families when someone is angry, sad, tired, or overwhelmed . . . if they don't exercise extreme self control.

And that is where the deception of mental illness occurs. The idea of having the ability to exercise 'self control' over disordered thinking is ridiculous. It isn't something you control. By the very nature of it, it is self-betraying.

But if it is in your family, you likely experienced the self-betrayal . . . wondering when/if you would be the one 'out of control'. Maybe you live(d) with a heightened sense of anxiety, fight or flight, or startle reflex. You might recognize in yourself an inability to relax during the good times, because you are waiting for the other shoe to drop; or you may not recognize it, despite its existence. You may feel the need to think waaay ahead, to prevent something you are responsible for being out of your control . . . as if you could plan for every contingency, as silly as that sounds.

I

'm going to start using words here that say,

"It is what it is"

Exactly that:

It just

'is what it is'.

I'll probably slip sometimes and include feelings, rather than facts.

It is an experience, after all.

An experience some of us inescapably live(d).

If I want to make the subject approachable, I'm going to need to use words that don't judge it for what it isn't.

Thank you to Lj Oreo for her inspiration to 'just tell it how it is'.

We need more acceptance of things we don't personally understand from our own experience.

I want to participate in the discussion, advocating for . . .

well,

at this point,

I'm not sure.

Mental health?

Not exactly.

Humans experiencing serious mental illness . . . not sure I'm qualified.

What it is to have your thinking disordered, for whatever reason?

Perhaps.

Or maybe just to think aloud (in digital-written form) because it isn't something to hide, "overcome," or be ashamed of.

It just is.

Mental illness just is; not because you lack self control, or are a bad person.

It just is.

Someday, it won't take a person 56 years of living under, adjacent to, around, beside, and/or with mental illness to have no feelings while saying,

"It just is."

For me, I'm accepting and hopeful that day will come, while I put one word

and then another

here.

Even it if makes sense to

or resonates with

absolutely no one.